My Fulbright Year in Taiwan

December 13, 2009:

Ian: You look like… I don’t know what, but you look like it.

Me: Winston Churchill is dead.

Evan: Whoa, how’d that happen?

We had a few days of quiet, then the dogs started barking again. There are two families who keep their dogs tied up outside. The dogs bark every time that it’s appropriate for dogs to bark, in other words, all the time. After we complained the first time, the owners kept the dogs inside their house for a few days, so the dogs didn’t bark. Then they started leaving them outside again, and guess what? They started barking all the time again.

Stacy called the police again and complained. There isn’t a local nuisance ordinance, so the police can’t fine them. The only way that they can take action is if someone presses charges. Stacy is reluctant to do that under our current circumstances. It’s a bit unseemly for a Fulbright scholar to be pressing charges against residents of their host country. But Stacy asked the police to come by and “advise” the neighbors to do something about the barking.

It worked! The neighbors brought the dogs inside again, and we got a great night’s sleep, plus we weren’t awakened before dawn by yippy barking.

I was half-expecting to see dog poop in the courtyard again this morning, but nothing yet. We know that in a few days, the owners will put the dogs outside again, but our strategy will be to continue calling the police and asking them to continue giving “advice.” Stacy discovered a loophole in the lack of a nuisance ordinance. Even though the police can’t take official action, any time someone calls the police, the police are obligated to send an officer to investigate. We’re hoping that if we have to call repeatedly, that sooner or later the police will get tired of coming over, and will add weight to their “advice.”

Keep your fingers crossed for us.

A neighbor has a very yippy, barkie dog. He keeps it tied up outside his house, where it barks early in the morning and late at night, waking us up, keeping us from sleeping, and generally pissing us off. Taiwan is a very densely populated place, and the architecture of our apartment complex makes the barking echo. Apparently many people have complained to the neighbor, but he didn’t ever seem to care.

Finally, Stacy couldn’t stand it anymore, and called the police. They came by and gave the owner a warning. The next time someone reports him, the police will fine him. The warning worked for a few days. The dog was quiet, and we got to sleep at night and weren’t disturbed until the alarm went off at 6:30 in the morning. Bliss!

Apparently the neighbor was pissed, though, and (rightly) suspected that someone from our complex ratted him out. So he took revenge. Today he led his dog on a leash into the compound in our apartment complex, and had the dog take a dump in the middle of the plaza. Then he led the dog back home and let it bark all afternoon.

The battle has begun.

One day last week, I was eating lunch with our project coordinator Kelly and a few other people, and the dessert course was what Chinese people call “pudding” 布丁, but what is actually flan. Kelly said that Chinese people like this particular food because it’s “dwi dwi.” This was a new word for me. The heavy nasal sound indicated that it’s a Taiwanese word. In order to pronounce it correctly, you have to make the vowel nasal. Sort of like “dweeng” without the ending “ng” but with all of the nasal sound.

After a bit of negotiation, I figured out that “dwi dwi” means something like “bouncy.” The flan was sort of like gelatin in that it’s jiggly. That settled, we all continued eating our flan. It’s really good, especially the syrup at the bottom of the container.

I finished mine first, and was ready to head back to the office. That’s when I put my foot in my mouth. Eager to show off my new Taiwanese word, I said something like: “We have to wait for Kelly and her dwi dwi.”

Dead silence in the room. No one moved.

Kelly’s face turned white. “Professor!” she exclaimed. “What are you talking about?!”

Apparently “dwi dwi” means one thing as an adjective, and something quite different as a noun. Since Kelly refused to explain, I assume that “dwi dwi” as a noun means something related to the “naughty bits,” to use a term from Monty Python.

Be warned. Use “dwi dwi” with extreme caution, and only as an adjective.

Stacy (upon entering the room and seeing Ian’s stuff all over the place): Ian, this place is a mess!

Ian: I’ve settled in.

Hilarity ensued (not).

All Fulbrighters were invited to a Thanksgiving dinner held by the American Institute in Taiwan (AIT) 美國在台協會, the de facto American embassy in Taiwan. We took a bus to Taipei for the event, which was held on the Friday before Thanksgiving. They had five turkeys for us, plus the trimmings.

Everything was great, except the sweet potatoes. Not enough marshmallow fluff. The pumpkin pie was nice, though.

The ambassador did a ceremonial carve of the first bird, to start off the meal.

The event was held in the AIT’s reception hall, which is in the wealthy XinYi 信義 district (near Taipei 101). Very upscale and fancy!

I got enough turkey for the year, but Ian and Evan say that they want to make another trip to Taipei on Thursday for more. Now we have to find a restaurant that serves an authentic American Thanksgiving meal. Remember the last scene in the movie “A Christmas Story?” That’s how they “carve” turkey over here…

Ian: I just have to accept that everyone here is a nerd.

Evan: Happy Emo day to you, too.

“Alright youse guys, everyone stop screwing around, and get on the fu-kang bus already!”

But everyone who knows our story will get a kick out of this:

see more dog and puppy pictures